I remember watching Ernie taking a bath on Sesame Street (when he wasn’t abusing Bert in one fashion or another). He had his rubber ducky that he just loved. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure it always floated upright. Because that’s what a rubber ducky should do. It should float vertically in the water… you know… like a duck.

I have a little girl and she has several rubber duckies. Even little ol’ me has a rubber ducky. It’s a camouflage Devil Ducky and it was given to me by a good friend who rightly predicted that I’d love it. What’s weird is that not one of them floats upright properly. The front end sinks and they tip right over, either immediately or with the slightest provocation. Even the wind-up one barely stays afloat. Doesn’t this seem like a pretty basic requirement for a bath toy? Especially a duck?

They all have flat bottoms (with the requisite pressure-equalizing hole) so that they can sit on a shelf, which means that they are designed to make it look like you’re cool enough to have a rubber ducky (and few people are), but not actually function as a rubber ducky should. It’s tantamount to making a rubber ducky that doesn’t float.

How do you fix it? Ever seen the wooden ducks that hunters use? Pretty simple. Heavy bottom, light top, center of gravity below the water line. Make it so.

I know this seems silly, but it’s really a basic disconnect in design between the pretty and the practical. I believe that the fundamental problem in our country can be exemplified by this simple little ducky.

-CG